she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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