OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
honey bunches of taint.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
