so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize