i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
