I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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