Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
