the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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