So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
