And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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