It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
