Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
