508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can you bring me the toilet please
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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