felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
