everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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