I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
