ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
