Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
