Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
