Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
