it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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