Can i not drive my cunt home
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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