It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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