Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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