Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
