Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
