She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
