Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found the puke drawer
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
