Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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