I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
