According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Randomize
