I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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