its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
