grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sarcasm needs its own font
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
