i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
