I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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