Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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