I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
