If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
we're so committed to being not committed
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
