It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
