how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
