That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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