guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
