i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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