would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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