its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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