Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can Purell be used as lube?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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