I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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