I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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