We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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