no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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