i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
