Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
