the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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