guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
