I bet he comes in French.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
