Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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