I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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