i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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