Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
