He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
