put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
