Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
