It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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