what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
