Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
