Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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