I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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