dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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