dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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