Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
